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Yearning for Incompleteness.

11 min read

This post is a contribution for an online book club reading of We Make the Road by Walking by Paolo Freire and Myles Horton. Here's the reading schedule, my notes from Chapters 1 and 2 and 3. You can also check out my quote generator.

Chapter 4

As an undergraduate, I studied Advertising in the the College of Journalism and Mass Communication. The advertising program, like many advertising programs, is built around the concept of the advertising agency. Thus, the core of your curriculum is situated around understanding the different departments of a traditional ad agency: research, media buying, and creative. Industry changes faster than higher education curriculum and other than large agencies, most  now focus on a very specific niche. I've always found these niche boutique shops much more appealing--much more entrepreneurial--than large agencies.

Unfortunately, I wasn't looking far enough ahead or simply unaware of what exactly an agency fully did to recognize that my curriculum was built to feed agencies until it was too late. At earliest, you take your first Advertising course in your third semester. Mine was my fourth semester and it only took a few weeks for me to realize I had no desire to work for an advertising agency and it was quite possible that I would never use me (I now am teaching the same advertising courses I took so it's now fair to say this is inaccurate). But I can still vividly remember that moment--sitting in the back of the 100 person class--where I felt that advertising wasn't for me.

This was later confirmed in my favorite course of the Advertising sequence which is called Contemporary Advertising Problems and it plays the role of the ethics/critical course and is arguably the only theory based course of the curriculum. It was taught by an adjunct professor who owned a mid-size agency in OKC and had taught the course for years. The semester I took the course, the owners of the Seattle Supersonics, OKC tycoons, decided to move the Seattle Supersonics to Oklahoma City and rebrand the team the Oklahoma City Thunder. Roy asked us to raise our hand on if we liked or disliked the team name. To my surprise, I was the only one to raise my hand. From the beginning, I was imagining the type of theatrical atmosphere you could create in an arena for a team named afterwards a very large bass-y weather noise. Now, to everyone else's credit, the Thunder logo still seems very uninspired, which makes a great case study for why you shouldn't groupthink creative work.

Anyways, the second thing I remember well from this course was a story Roy told us. Oklahoma is now home to several large casinos. These were just starting to really get built while I was in school and Roy told us a story where he had decided that his agency would not compete for casino bids even though they were bound to be very large clients as he had an ethical dilemma with promoting gambling. I don't know if this was due to personal reasons or not--and really all arguments about the specific issue aside--I really respected that he had decided would turn down work that he felt he couldn't promote in good conscience. I then begin to really think about if I could truly design/promote/sell anything that anybody asked, and I knew that the answer was definitively "no." I was definitely never going to work for an agency.

I share this story because it's a story of a youth at a crossroads discovering his boundaries and that sums up a lot of my view about my collegiate experience. Chapter 4 of We Make the Road by Walking focuses a lot on teaching but it's also about having a position. Much of it is about those positions being brought into the classroom and whether or not that breeds an authoritarian environment. It was a major moment for me to be awoken to the ethical struggles of the sector and to be ok with turning my back on it and I'm thankful that there were people who weren't afraid to expose me to that.

And so I try to bring that into my own classes. Nearly every semester that I've been in the classroom, I've had "the talk" with the students. And it goes something like "Look. I know much of your curriculum is based around the appearance of the outcome of you eventually working for an advertising or public relations agency. The truth is that, particularly if you are going to stay in Oklahoma, you won't be doing that. You might not even be in the field at all. This course is about creativity and the lens is ad/pr but it's also about you being able to recognize your own creative potential. You'll learn valuable skill sets but you'll also learn how to think with design."

For some strange personal reason, I feel like it's part of my duty to tell students it's okay if you never enter this field.

2016 has been (understatement) a lot of feelings for me. As it will be mentioned over and over again as we end the year, we lost a lot of wonderful people. For me, the biggest emotional hit was Seymour Papert. When I'm asked who my educational hero is, I always (and will always) say Papert. His way of thinking about technology and education--that the child should program the computer, not the computer program the child--was ahead of its time and may only ever be actualized in small pockets.

In Papert's book The Children's Machine he contrasts what he calls Schoolers and Yearners. I've paraphrased it below:

The parable sets up the question: Why, through a period when so much human activity has been revolutionized, have we not seen comparable change int he way we help our children learn?

People on one side, the Schoolers, are taken aback by my question... Many become indignant... Education today is faced with immediate, urgent problems. Tell us how to use your computers to solve some of the many immediate practical problems we have, they say.

On the other side of the great divide are the Yearners, who respond by citing impediments to change in education such as cost, politics, the immense power of the vested interests of school bureaucrats, or the lack of scientific research on new forms of learning. These people do not say "I can't imagine what you could possibly be looking for," because they have themselves felt the yearning for something different. (2-3)

Papert lays out this dichotomy of people sold out to the educational system who work tirelessly only to maintain the system and people for whom the system will never serve because there is a burning desire for something more.

And here is where I--somewhat dangerously--find myself in both camps. Someone who is coming to trying to find ways in which the system will allow for yearning to prevail. Papert acknowledges this as well.

Another important class of Yearners operates as a sort of fifth column within School itself: Large numbers of teachers manage to create within the walls of their own classrooms oases of learning profoundly at odds with the education philosophy publicly espoused by their administrators; some public school districts, perhaps those where Yearners have moved into administration, have made spaces for Yearners within the School system, allowing such programs to deviate from district policies on method and curriculum (3)

The field of open is no stranger to the idea of yearning thanks to Gardner Campbell. Gardner talked about ecologies of yearning in his keynote. He said this on the ecologies of open:

Open is not simply a quality to adopt or a direction to pursue. Open is attitude towards systems and the desire those systems empower and focus.

I can't think of a better way to describe a quality that we need on both the student/non-student sides of the institution than "yearning." All other words are just synonyms or adjacent. Wonder. Awe. Love.

Freire uses one that I like: "humility."

One of the virtues we have to create in ourselves as progressive educators is the virtue of humility. (195)

He talks about this knowledges inability to stay static; that it's a process. He talks about incompleteness.

I am humble because I am incomplete (194)

That last quote is probably my favorite so far of the entire book. I want to embrace my incompleteness in order to yearn for humility. (Side note: I read up on Gödel’s Incompleteness Theorem for this blog post and I'm not going to build that in to this post, but I secretly hope someday Mike Caulfield will because he's better at thinking than me).

Very rarely do I sense a lot of tension between Horton and Freire. In fact, I often sense the exact opposite. It feels like a deep sense of love and reverence for another. But this chapter seems to subtly bring out some of the differences between them. For instance, Freire talks about teaching as a vehicle that comes through content whereas Horton seems to talk about a process of eliciting it from students:

My system is to make him thirsty, so he'll volunteer to drink. (148).

And there's an interesting moment in their conversation where I feel like "Third Party," is trying to confront an issue. Freire is very much open about being incomplete and learning from his students where Horton, as an organization, feels the strong burden to make change when he sees it, which can come across authoritarian. This negotiation--hold so firm to beliefs while also embracing humility and incompleteness--it brings me back to me wrestling with myself as an advertising undergraduate student.

MYLES: Well I think you have to divide that into principles. When I say what I believe, I'm talking about prin­ciples such as love and democracy, where people control their lives.
THIRD PARTY: Your vision.
MYLES: My vision. Now the strategy for my vision, the ap­proaches and processes, I've learned from other people.

Amy Collier wrote a post about the burden you can face when yearning within the school--being critical--and it's beautiful in it's honesty and openness. I, too, think a lot about being on the wrong side with my ideas. When progressive agendas fail, whether they are political or institutional, I think it's important for me to remember the incompleteness and not falter from my vision, to use Horton's words.

If I was smart, I would end my blog post there because I've already written too much that nobody is going to read it, but I wanted to capture one last thing that I took away from Chapter 4 and that's Myles Horton about the three traits of progressive education:

I think if I had to put a finger on what I consider a good education, a good radical education, it wouldn't be anything about methods or techniques. It would be loving people first.

Next is respect for people's abilities to learn and to act and to shape their own lives.

The third thing grows out of caring for people and having respect for people's ability to do things, and that is that you value their experiences. (177)

I'm not any good about writing about love and education so I'll leave that to those who know better than me. There's also a line about being involved at a micro and macro level.

We were part of the world but we had to start locally. (179)

I'm continually more and more interested in how to promote localized movements and sharing those broadly rather than trying to collectively do something similar. Maybe I should have written about that before running out of steam, but I'm open to suggestions on how to organize that. I'm also still thinking through Kate Bowles' post on lenses and Mastodon so check that out. Onward and upward, .


All of us have the urge to create a new reality online – either explicitly in coming up with something like the saga of Dr Oblivion, or in the work of Helen Keegan; or implicitly, in presenting a version of ourselves that is just plain nicer/funnier/smarter/more interesting than the decaying sack of bones, flesh and Doobie Brothers lyrics that exists in three-dimensional reality.

And when you do create a reality, do you pull away the mask and risk confusion and alienation. Or run the risk of keeping the story going, ending with some of the horror we have seen emerging from known falsehoods in 2016 (this week’s shitshow: pizzagate).

Thirds Space - From "About Ragged University"

The Ragged project operates in informal spaces. The spaces we are interested in are known as ‘third places’ which belong to everyone and are those which foster relaxed atmospheres. These non-institutional spaces are needed to generate certain types of dynamic between people which allow us to comfortably share what we know on our own terms. The phrase ‘third place’ comes from the work of Ray Oldenburg.

His work illustrates how certain places are anchors of community life and enable dynamic atmospheres in which social interaction can occur without barriers. Societies are built, in part, by informal meeting places that foster the rich connections necessary for the cultural life of a healthy community. Oldenburg suggests the following as markers of “third places”:

  • Free or inexpensive
  • Food and drink
  • Highly accessible
  • Involve regulars
  • Welcoming and comfortable
  • A junction for new and old friends


So we meet in places like pubs, cafes, and libraries – put our feet up, have a bite to eat and a drink, and also either get the chance to present what we know to a room, or listen to someone sharing what they have invested their time in learning.  It is a dialogical space, where everyone is involved in a social learning process, be it gaining the skills to speak in front of a room of people, or become an active listener, or finding constructive voices to feedback on what thoughts you have….and of course, it should be fun.

We Make the Road by Walking - Chapter 3

7 min read

This post is a contribution for an online book club reading of We Make the Road by Walking by Paolo Freire and Myles Horton. Here's the reading schedule and my notes from Chapters 1 and 2.

I took the day off after the election. I wanted to spend it with all of my girls. I have two young daughters, one of whom has started in the public education system this year.

Every culture has negativeness and positiveness, and what we have to do is to improve the positive and to overcome the negativeness. (134)

I live in whatever the opposite of a swing state is. When it comes to presidential elections, you can bank on Oklahoma turning red. Now to all my U.S. friends in more liberal areas of the nation, I want to be very clear that it's actually fine to live in red state. I've done it my whole life and I love my home. But it can feel hopeless knowing that their are certain conversations that aren't worth having with people because, to them, the world is very white or black, whereas most of the world I inhabit is the space between.

I remember I learned a lot from being a father. (138)

When Katie and I found out we were going to have our first daughter, I was turning to male mentors I had to ask what it is like to be a dad. One guy here at OU gave me really good insight that I will never forget and that I continue to pass on to other people becoming parents. He told me that when you become a parent, your life changes instantly because every single decision you make requires a new question to think through. Every question and every decision you make has positive and negative consequences on this new person who is dependent on you and it will change the way you think.

And it, indeed, changes the way you think. As a parent, I want nothing more than for my children to grow up in a world where they love themselves, love others, and love learning. I want light to be in abundance.

You also learn so many lessons about life through being parent. You learn that you are a very flawed, selfish person. And you learn that even though you want to control each and every outside force--it's nearly impossible.

Chapter 3 from We Make the Road by Walking is titled Ideas. I love the title in that its bold. I also hate it in the same way I hate getting a calendar meeting invitation cryptically titled "Brainstorming." It's a bit vague and, for goodness sake, please tell me one meet where it is okay for us to turn off our brains. But ANYWAYS much of the chapter focuses on political and social organization. And while presidential voting in Oklahoma was predictable, there were other issues personal to my heart at stake for our state as well--specifically in education.

On November 8, Oklahoma voted on State Question 779, which was a penny sales tax that would fund state education. Of the money raised, 60 percent would provide a $5,000 salary increase for every public school teacher. The rest would be divided between public schools (9.5%), higher (19.25%), career and tech ed (3.25%), and early childhood ed (8%).

You see, Oklahoma ranks 48th (soon to be 50th as both South Dakota and Mississippi are raising pay) in K-12 teacher pay and our teachers have not had a raise in eight years. In fact, this issue isn't even a Republican or Democrat issue. Democrats actually controlled the Oklahoma Senate until 2005, yet we dropped from 41st to 48th between 1980 and 2000 and the Republican-controlled Senates have kept us there. The state legislature in its totality has failed at providing adequate pay for teachers for decades.

Of course, a penny sales tax doesn't necessary look the prettiest on paper. They're regressive, which means that the tax increase will affect low- and moderate-income households more than wealthier households. Plus, Oklahoma sales tax is already high and this would make it the highest in the nation. But, according to the initiatives biggest supporters, it wouldn't and it shouldn't have ever got to this had the state legislature figured out a way to fund education. This felt very much like a last ditch effort Hail Mary.

The only way teachers have to demonstrate to the students that they are serious sometimes is to ght-to ght in order to get a better salary and then to begin to become more competent. (60)

It was ambitious and a long shot and everyone knew it from the beginning. But momentum began to build and with it came hope in the eyes of teachers with many of them signing on. State Questions require a little under 125,000 signatures to make the ballot. It received 300,000. Early polling showed it at about 60% to pass.

And then it failed. 60% no / 40% yes. The state of public education is no longer just a failure of the Oklahoma legislature. This is now a failure of the state to either put forth the correct plan or pass this one. I, too, share in this failure.

It's the structures of society that we've got to change. We don't change men's hearts. (103)

The day after Oklahoma decided to not give teachers a raise but did decide to elect donald, I took my daughters to school, and had to look the teachers in the eyes.

Every day at my daughter's school they have a school-wide morning assembly. The Friday of election week was Veterans Day and a handful of the fourth graders were sharing poems about freedom. They had been learning about similies and metaphors. "Freedom is  _______." I felt a little heartbroken but also moved.

I pulled out my phone to quickly type out some of the lines and immediately a student read: "Freedom is the feeling of victory and hardship."

It's so true. And, as much as I want that perfect environment to magically materialize for my girls--as much as I want them to see with their own eyes that they can be and do and love so long as they love--I know that it's also true that, as a wise fourth grade once told me, freedom is equal parts victory and hardship.

That day I felt an immense amount of guilt for not campaigning harder for the state question; for not campaigning with the teachers. For believing for it in my heart but never publicly letting it leave my mouth. This is a feeling I've felt so much more as I've grown older and is arguably my largest personal struggle. Why--so often--do I allow myself to be controlled by fear? I could have done something to advocate for it and I let my pride get in the way.

Reading Horton has given me courage. It reminds me to speak out and to stand up. It reminds me to look at my community as a place where their exist people like teachers, the most undervalued public employees, need me to speak up.

It is cultural and historical, and if it is cultural and historical, it can be changed. And if it can be changed, it's not unethical to put the possibility of change on the table. (132)

Not all hope is lost. It would be hard to imagine State Question 779 will be the last teacher raise proposal in history. It would be hard to believe that ground can't be made in education both locally and nationally. And you better believe that I won't miss the opportunity to particpate--to organize--again.

I also want to add that has given me much as well. Specifically, more thanks for Bryan Alexander for organizing, Kristen Eshleman for organizing the Twitter chat, John Stewart for giving me someone to talk through it out loud, and Amy Collier for giving me the drive to write better. And thanks to anybody that's reading this. It's working.